I will let you in on a secret. For those that are around me a lot, I don't know if you've noticed but I've been mentioning the post-high school era a lot- with references to Queens (I actually haven't formally decided), university, living on my own, the parties, the guys, the freedom, questioning how things will change here in hometown while I'm gone, rhetorically asking how you'll be like when I'm gone (like I think I've asked my brother today, hmm...what are you going to do when I move out like 2 times this long weekend alone), etc...
Well it's pretty much all a show. You know how everybody have habits that come out when they're nervous? Well, bringing up this topic casually and so frequently is in reality my nervousness and insecurities perking up. It's my way of making it seem more tangible, as though if I talk about it enough it'll become reality and/or ease the departure for you and for me...but I think each time I bring it up certain people in my life chirp in on the conversation but flinches on the inside? Well, I guess reality is parts of me are flinching too, and will continue flinching no matter how many times I bring it up again.
I'm tempted to accept on OUAC just to get it over with already...
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