Words would mean nothing

if we've never seen it before.

After so many years, if you had to live a day without vision it shouldn't be too bad, especially if someone can verbally explain and guide you through everything. However, if you've never experienced vision then no matter how descriptive it is, the words will mean nothing* because you can't attach something tangible to the word. It'll be hard to understand the adjectives used by itself, let alone using dozens of adjectives used to describe something else.

We were eating the other day. jw was in his philosophy class and we started this discussion. People basically connect feelings to words. We don't actually know how it feels to be happy, sad or in love. But once we get this feeling we think it must be that thing they all call being happy, sad or in love. So... imagine all the feelings that exist, but we "don't feel" just because there isn't a word to describe it in the english language...

Day 18: Your favourite room in your house.

First, I don't really have a favourite room in my house.

Second, I'm not in my house.

Third, I probably won't want to post of picture of a room in my house even if I could.

So, I'll just leave you with this:

There's a secret room, somewhere.

* I hope I don't offend anybody here by saying nothing. It's more figuratively speaking. I know people who are visually impaired are still able to experience beauty and see in different ways. I know your sense of touch help envision a lot of things, so for sake of argument say you only have your ability to hear a computer voice throw words at you...How would you know what sharp is? Cold? Smooth? I should just stop talking, I'm making it worst.

Art or doodle..

just a matter of how hard you look.

Day 17: An art piece.

In the summer I was reading about moving into residence. One of the pamphlets said, "Buy posters, plain walls are so high school." I was really a poster type of girl... I never become obsessed with anything enough to justify purchasing and displaying the poster on my wall. Soon the idea of creating a wall quote collage came along. Basically I have an obession with quotes. When I come across a good one, especially one that I can relate to, I scribble it down immediately and then eventually jot it down in one of my journals. I envisioned created a wall full of quotations on individual cue cards. I brought a deck of neon cue cards (pink, green, orange, and yellow), and using a fancy black ink pen I will write individual quotes on them as they come along. So far I only have two because I just started. I am trying to write one quote a day. On the day I write the quote I will display the quote on my cork board outside my door so that my floormates can see. Then from my cork board I will move it onto my wall which is the wall over my bed's headboard. On the cue card I will write the quote, the author if possible and the date I wrote the quote down. If someone else gave me the quote (and when I first mentioned it people on my floor were all like, "I have a good one!" I will also include the name of the person that forwarded me the quote. If all goes well, by the end of the year this will be a decent piece of art.

If you could go back

would you? Wouldn't you more or less just end up in the same way?

Day 7: Five things I can not live without.

1. water

2. food

3. shelter

4. oxygen

5. for the sake of argument... sunlight

Did I make you roll your eyes or something?

Well, when I read the blog topic I thought again...hmm there's really nothing that immediately comes to mind. I just wrote that list for fun, but I think I can twist it around a little to make it more accurate.

1. Toronto tap water. Did you know in a blind taste-testing competition Toronto placed 3rd in all of North America? I miss just running my kitchen tap and drinking the water.. I actually boil my water here and let it cool because it's that bad. The other day I asked my floormates for Brita water, and those that knows me know I was never a fan of (Brita/ double) filtrated water.

2. Food. I won't even know what would happen to me if you just feed me through a UV or through tasteless pills. I love food. I love snacks. I live for the satisfaction of consuming and digesting great tasting food.

3. I love the comfort of my own blanket and pillow? I guess I'm not that picky... considering I just got a new duvet and I fell in love with it so quickly. My new double bed is actually a real bonus compared to my single at home. I guess what I can't live without is knowing that I have my own familar and comfortable bed to hop into when I get home. Thinking of our sanctuary that we can return to after a long day keeps us going sometimes, no?

4. I really can't say I can't live without this... cause it's somewhat rare that I get to experience this but I love cool fresh (morning/lake) air. I love walking outside in the morning and having a cool fresh breeze blow in my face. Sometimes, in the fall and spring, I can experience this when I walk out of the house in the morning to go to school. It would make me smile as I close my eyes to take in a deep breath. It gives that feeling that, hmm today's going to be a good day. This fresh air can commonly be found at the cottage or camping? I like that damp smell in the air. Or after a spring/ summer rain shower...love that smell.

5. I think I've mentioned this before, but just having natural light helps me study better. I'm not particularly bond of the burning sun on hot summer days (especially since I tan so easily). I guess the sunlight's the best in the morning. Another source of sunlight in your life are the people that shine like the sun and bring warmth and joy into your life. These people, and you probably all know who you are, you guys are my sunlight and I can't live without you.

Today, I blogged twice for my baby. It's our six month anniversary. Nothing big I know, but I remember explicitly thinking that because of school and stuff we would never make it this far. He calls me his sunshine sometimes, and so baby just so you know, you're my sunshine too.

p.s. This is the first time I've re-read my work for a long time. I noticed a lot of errors. wl just told me that I had a lot of errors in other posts as well. How embarrassing... I guess I am going to reread my work from now on. And I guess as a disclaimers, all those other times you've caught mistakes and thought: what a illiterate person, it was only cause I didn't proofread.
Shoutouts to my floor/ inside joke: London is in France.

Live a life

where the truth doesn't hurt.

Day 16: A song that makes you cry.

I actually was going to blog this afternoon when I got home from class. I looked at the topic and had trouble narrowing a song that makes me cry. I guess I was kind of searching for a song that will bring me automatically bring me to tears whenever it plays. I guess I don't have one since I couldn't think of one. I was going to say Hurt by Christina Aguilera, but I didn't feel like exposing that story relating to my grandfather, not yet at least with what I think are my new followers. I was also going to just choose one of those songs that I listened to a lot two springs ago following the incident, but they were just like the usual "incident" songs. Plus, I've already kind of blogged about it. The song I eventually chose was unique because I heard for the first time at the scene of the crime. It is now kind of the like the song that I associate with that person. I remember months later, when I thought I have recovered, the song would randomly play from my playlist and it would practically send goosebumps through me. I'll bring me back. Don't think it'd actually made me cry in the later times...maybe initially. I won't deny it used to be kind of depressing, but I'm over it now. So over it. I even played the song as I started writing to experiment. It's just another song now, with some memories attached. Did I say memories, maybe a big joke would better describe the situation.

Oh, and of course the song is: True by Brandy.

Numbers that looks nicer to us:

3, 5, 7, 10, 13, ...

Day 13: Five Funny Fears

1. That's I fall down the stairs. Recently I have been losing my eye and body correlation so that I do a double take and stumble when I walk down the stairs and change from looking forward to looking at the steps to see how many steps are left near the bottom of the stairs.

2. Losing all my childhood pictures in a fire. (knock on wood). At home there is a green Rubbermaid bin and it basically contains all my most valuable possessions. Its that one thing that I plan to grab if I ever need to immediately evacuate my home.

3. Getting robbed. I never carry a lot of cash one me. If I do I'm very paranoid and try to not put all my eggs in one basket.

4. Sleeping through an exam. Imagine doing all that studying just to not be able to take it...

5. Everything that I have accomplished to date has been a big fluke. One day people (i.e Queen's University) will suddenly realizes I'm not all that worthy and tell me to get the hell out. I would never live down ever having to return to Toronto and go to Ryerson... (no offense to Ryerson students).

A vacation

from vacationing.

Most people think of going far away to exotic places when they think about going to vacation. However, a vacation is really a break from your usual environment. If you've been stuck in your cubicle working at your desk for the last 48 months, then a vacation could be a simple as attending a day long work related conference downtown. I'm been at this desk doing applications for so long my vacation is walking across the hallway to mope to my floor mates.

Day 14: A vacation that you would like to take.

My family have never been travelers, thus I have never left Canada. Darn, I can't even make that claim anymore because I drove over to Buffalo for Civics Holiday weekend and had a day long American shopping day. You get the idea though right? So I have never really been the type of people that have long lists of places they want to visit before they die. Even if I did have a list it won't be of famous cities, it would more likely be places where I can see the Earth in it's most natural form: on top of a cliff, on vast stretches of farm land, in a forest or by the waters. However, before the blog challenge got to pose this challenging question to me wl did a couple of weeks ago. I actually had to tell him to ask me again later. Eventually I decided that I would like us to go to Venice together. I don't know much about it, but a book I read as an adolescence called The Thief Lord took place there. I just know that instead of roads, Venice has streams of water and to get from place to place one must travel with boats. This would be a good vacation just cause it'll be so different from what I'm accustomed to. On another interesting note, even within a famous and supposedly beautiful place like Venice there will be parts of the city where it is absolutely gorgeous and then there will be parts where the streams of water will just seem like a huge rotting sewer... That's the harsh reality of life, it's all nice on the outside, but everything and everyone has something ugly to hide.

You never really forget

it's simply hidden, waiting to be triggered.

Last night was a long brutal night. It was kind of hard to get through my morning classes but I did. The weekend is here. Despite all those times I've looked at the time to count down when I can return to my bed to sleep I'm surprisingly not that sleepy anymore. I think I should be productive... I put up my first Do Not Disturb Sign outside my door. I wrote it with crayons on this cartoon-y stationary paper. It says be back at 6pm. It's Friday. Our floor is insisting to live it up...

Day 13: Five Strange Facts About Myself

1. I don't (know how to) enjoy coffee drinks, but I enjoy other things coffee flavoured (candy, pastries, desserts).

2. Every girl (/person) loves shopping, but at times I hate it because I can't stand accumulating so much clothes due to my inability to just throw out/ donate clothes that I clearly haven't worn for years... I believe that they're still functional...and I have yet to find a reliable charitable organization to donate to.

3. When I used to have trouble sleeping at home I would grab my pillow and blanket and go sleep in the basement couches. (I realized I missed my couches when I couldn't fall asleep yesterday).

4. My hair grows very slowly...

5. I have these OCD thing with lined paper... I like the margins a certain length, the blue lines a certain colour, the paper a certain weight... When I have one odd sheet of paper in with my binder of paper that was from all the same company (i.e when I ran out of paper and had to borrow a sheet off someone) I get a little upset. Little...

- Short and sweet.

My first

long night.

I've been in Queen's for almost two weeks and I think this is the first night where I can't sleep. Provided, I've taken naps all week...maybe I'm not tired. Right now I'm in the common room with a couple of people. I was rotting in my room. I didn't want to work, but I didn't want to sleep either. So I can't tell if this feeling is caused by procrastinating, a bad diet, lazy, tired or maybe it's a feel of homesickness. Or maybe it's caused by wl. Yes, Mr. wl I know you'll read this. It's not that there's anything wrong... it's more like everything is too good. Like I said, I wish we would get to see each other already, so then I can get over missing you and get on with my life. Jeez. #$^#*$% I'm actually very frustrated right now. What's wrong with me?!

Anyways, it's past 12am now so technically I can blog my next post. I've put some thought into this.

Day 6: A moment you would like to relive.

When I first read this topic I thought it was kind of interesting. I never really thought about reliving life. It kind of just goes by right? So my first thought might have been the day I got my letter for my scholarship. That was definitely one of my most important/life changing days in my life...but I realized I don't know if I want to relive it. It was a combination of joy, tears, and of course disbelief. Then I thought of memories with my friends. I'm in no way suggesting that they weren't amazing, but I don't feel an urgent need to relive those moments. I'm sure even better ones will be created the next time we hang out. Next I had a wild idea that maybe it'll be cool to relive all those chaotic academic days, those days where we stressed about math tests and all nighters finishing assignments. It's not like I want to go through that again, but in hindsight it's kind of interesting. It'll give us a chance to maybe do it differently. Maybe we'll know not to stress out about it so much. So finally, even though I tried to avoid it in the end I can't help but deny that the moments I want to relive are those spent with that special individual. Especially in light of my emotional state of being lost right now, I really want to relive those times right at the beginning of the summer where we would hang out, watch Mysteries of Love and cook in your kitchen. Or how about that time we had instant noodle at the seven eleven. Or let's not forget lying on the beach looking at what we thought was a shooting star...but was probably a satellite. Or when we were on the ferry on the way back, and the detour to the other island was wonderful because it let us have more time on the ferry. Yep, if I can go back right now I would want to go back to that ferry with my hair blowing in the wind as you hold me in your arms.

There, I said it. And since I just announced my blog to these dudes in front of me they'll probably think I'm a softee after reading this. Sorry guys, I just don't know what's wrong with me.

This kind of feeling might lead to reckless behaviour... remember that issue I have with wanting to do reckless things every now and again? I'll keep you posted.

Don't watch what you're going to eat

or you'll want to eat it.

Did I mention that I feel the freshman 15 piling on? Since two days ago when I came to this realization I began watching what I ate. The stupid buffet style cafeterias are so evil! I know that once I enter their threshold I've already fell for their trap so I've decided to trade in meal equivalences so that I can eat less AND spread out when I eat. For dinner today I went to Lenard with some floor mates and I put less food on my tray. Surprisingly, when I finished everything I felt more than full (but not stuffed like usual) even though quantitatively it didn't feel like too much food.

I'm blogging again because I'm procrastinating. I've managed to take afternoon naps four days in a row! Now thinking about the readings I have to do I'm already contemplating working into the early morning hours...and the first week of school isn't even complete!

Day 5: My favourite pair of shoes.

This topic kind of surprised me a little. After I read it, I immediately glanced over to my shoe "rack" in my room. Out of the shoes I see presently I don't think I'm in love with any particular one at the moment. Actually, come to think of it... I don't pick up very nice footwear at all. Ironically, with the amount of walking that I tend to do I really should treat my feet better. I remember this one presenter saying, shoes are very important, it can change how a person present themselves because afterall it holds up your whole body. It might have been from a movie and the person was probably justifying their huge (either in terms of numbers or price) shoe collection.

If I must write about one pair of shoes it would be my pair of leather boots. I purchased them at Aldo this past boxing day. It was a rather quick purchase. I actually walked out of the shoe and came back for them. I wasn't really looking for a new pair of footwear but when I saw them I just knew. They are brown, come about ten centimeters before my knee, and have a bit of an elevated heel. They look really great with tights or skinny jeans. I love how they make a sound as I walk. You can use them casually everyday or match it with something that' s a little more fancy for going out. Of course, the cherry on top was that I got them $100 off retail price. Now, how can anybody not love something that they got a great deal on?

p.s. the title and subtitle was a pun... get it?

Don't let them fool you

they are just about as lost as everyone else.

This is what my bosses (orientation leaders) told us during frosh week. It holds so much truth in the business world and even in everyday situation. Those people that you look up to on stage, those people that seem to have everything just flow to them, those individuals seem to be naturally gifted at everything they lay their fingers on...well 99% of the time it's all a show. I remember teachers and successful individuals that would certainly agree. I actually do believe that under everyone's skin are their own set of insecurities that they may choose to not display at all, display under special circumstances or only to selective individuals. So as I am here, allegedly in one of the best commerce programs in Canada, one of the hardest programs to get into, around THE leaders of tomorrow I feel intimidated. Sometimes I feel out of place. Sometimes, no often, I ask myself if it was by mistake that I made it here. What if I was that last person that they offered the spot to? Inferior, that's it... I feel inferior. Especially when it comes to making new friends...darn those people that become bff's upon their first glance on each other. But then, I sometimes remember that maybe that isn't the case. That maybe, well hopefully, it's all just a show and when it comes down to it we are all on the same boat more or less, worried about the same things.

This post is dedicated to my Harbord class of 2010. Believe me, if at any moment you've had any doubt or worries know that it's normal, you're not alone. Give it some time and it will all work out. There will always be something better down the road.

Day 12: A Song I want to play at my wedding.

The song I want to play at my wedding is not really a song, but a musical piece called The Princess Waltz by John Debney. I'm pretty sure it's an orchestral piece. It's an original piece from the movie The Princess Diaries. Years ago, we had a time where we had a free preview of the movie channels. At the time, the Princess Diaries and Rush Hour 2 were the features. Now, these were the days where my brother and I would be at home all day long in the summer. Thus, we have watched these two movies sooo many times. I loved the Princess Diaries and to this day I think it's probably my second favourite movie? This song comes in near the end after Mia accepts the crown and is making her way into the ball room with her royal grandmother. At the end of this piece, Mia walks out into the balcony with that main protagonist where they kiss and her feet "pop." I loved the piece of music, but in the credits it didn't list the song title. I assumed that it was just another piece of background music that I will never encounter again unless I replay that part of the movie. I even found the movie's soundtrack and had no luck. But then one day, thanks to the help of youtube, I discovered the song's origins. I've managed to download it and play it often, usually when I want to hear something peaceful. I think I would love to have this song play at one point of my wedding. It is so elegant, peaceful like I've already said and it'll be like my own fairy tale, princess ending.

And here it is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rUOJcoRl_dY

It doesn't have to be big

to make a difference.

Day 4: Your favourite quote.

I love quotations, if you already didn't know this about myself. Actually I had this brilliant idea of creating a wall of quotes in my dorn room using neon cue cards... obviously didn't get on that yet... A part of the reason is because I left all my old journals that contained basically all my valuable quotes at home. I don't want to just randomly search up quotes through the internet...

I've thought of what it'll be like to visit home more than once now. I'm afraid the idea of sleeping in my old bed already gives me a foreign feeling. Maybe, I guess hopefully it won't by the time I'll actually be home.

My favourite quote would have to be: There is always sometime better down the road. - at

One of my closest and dearest friends said this to me at a time approximately four years ago when I was at one of my rawest, miserable, hopeless period of time. I remember her saying it out of encouragement through the phone as I wiped my cheeks that was probably flooding with tears. She probably doesn't realize it to this day, but that moment and those words made a huge impact on me that day and to this day. In a cliche way, you should almost envision it as one of those turning moments or the light at the end of the tunnel. Things didn't go better immediately after her words, but it's the sense of hope and optimism that remains with me till this day. Inevitably things go wrong all the time, but as long as we persevere, as I have in turn advised others and remind myself in times of need, something better will always be down the road.

My window brings

so much sunlight into my life.

I love natural light and being outside in comfortable fall and spring weather! Because I'm on the fourth floor, whenever I roll up my blinds it brings some amazing light into my room. I literally feel happier as the sunlight shines onto me.

So I don't have class until 10am. It's so funny, practically every other day class starts at 8:30. It's so similar to the high school every Wednesday late opening schedule...

So as I've promised to catch up:

Day 3: Your favourite book.

I remember reading a lot as starting from grade 2 (when my mom pushed some academic sense and devotion into me, until grade 7 when I discovered msn). Since then I have not read nearly as much as I wished I had, but I do pick up the odd books and it excites me. So I'll just touch upon 5 quick types of books or books...fair enough?

1. Sarrah Dessen: She is a teenage romanace writer. I love all her books! They're very laid back reads, but I do enough them very much although they are never really that substantial... My secret theory is that I enough teenage drama/ romance books so much because it's my way of experiencing those things without living through it myself. I would never want to be a teenage mom, but it'll be interesting to see what it was like for someone else to be.

2. Twilight series. I enjoyed this series very much actually. I thought the author did a very good job writing it so that the flow made it very fast and enjoyable to finish all four books. I didn't think the first movie was that bad either, never watched nor plan to watch the rest of them though. Once tweens took over Twilight I just turn away from all the chaos. Can't deny I enjoyed the series though.

3. Brave New World. We read it in grade 11 english. We had a lot of fun with it as a class because we were not expecting the type of extreme things that were happening. Good book.

4. The Kite Runner. at read it in her english class and told me I must read it. I did for my grade12 English summative. It was pretty epic.

5. What I Saw and How I lied. I think this is the only book I've read this summer. I picked it up at the library as I was with my camp kids doing library time. It was a good book, thus the gold sticker on the front stating it's an award winner or nominee.

-Got to run for class...at least I technically blogged!

I have a habit

of failing to maintain the habit...

So this 30 day blog challenge thing really isn't working out...I'm still thinking about catching up and maintaining the flow... The second day of class is complete and I guess I'm starting to develop a good flow for everything: going to class, eating in the cafeteria, using my spare time wisely in the dorm.

Today I had COMM103 and the course material for just that class is about $300! I think I finished buying all the books for this semester and it totals $598.80. (I got a good deal with the secondhand economic books and accounting books from a friend). You know at Queens people call economics "ee- con" for short while at HCI we called it "echo". I said "echo" today and the other person looked so confused. I had to explain...

Today after buying the used textbooks I came home to skype with wl. You probably don't want to know this, or will immediately roll your eyes as you read this, and I'm sure it's a bit cliche but every moment spent with wl one way or another right now is soooo lovely.

Here at Queens I think I only gave at my blog url... so at... (that's your initials... you know the one that lives down the hall with all the comics? if you're actually reading these let me know one way or another...)

So today should be day...11 in my blog challenge.

Day 11: A photo of you taken recently!

Haha, the one day I decide to blog and it's such a easy post. The following picture is from after the paint fight we had and was referring to from the last post. I wish I have more pictures from frosh, but we were told not to bring anything my our keys.. and I didn't want to risk dirtying my camera. I still have the coveralls. Supposedly, it's a tradition to wear them to EVERY football game. We're not supposed to wash them... someone down my hall ACTUAL showered in them because that's the exception to not washing them... I just put it in a garbage bag today and popped it into the bottom of my closet... it still reeks of paint.

What's Queen's Best Faculty?

commerce, commerce!

Nevermind just in Queens. After today's legendary series of event I honestly believe Queen's Commerce has the most craziest frosh in all of Canada... probably all of the world. First we had the cheer off with the engineers. We formed two congo lines with like 360 students. They put face paint all over us so that we'll look tough! We cheered with all our might. When we won, we (once again it's almost 400 people in total) started running for the lake. We all jumped into the lake with all our clothes as we continued to cheer even louder and splash everybody. Under any other circumstance I don't think I would just walk into the lake with my shoes and everything! To end off the day we had a paint fight. That's right, imagine the craziest water fight you've ever had...but with paint. They gave us coveralls in our frosh packages and then garbage bags to cover our hair right before the event. They put two big harps on the ground and surrounding the harp were more than 30 cans of paint... the buckets of paint that you were buy to paint your house walls with. Everybody squeezed onto the harp and paint just started flying. Within seconds people jumped the whole bucket of paint into the air, onto other people's head. The harp was slippery and eventually we just decided to roll on it if we felt our coveralls weren't dirty enough. We hugged each other as they were damp with paint. The paint got into our hair, onto our hands, shoes, and even steeped through onto my clothes under and my underwear! As our cheers goes: Commerce is the shit! too legit to quit!

Now I'm going to a k-os concert. Woot?

Open doors

brings happy strangers into your room.

I don't remember much about day two. We went on a bus tour of the town, well downtown basically means princess street. Then there was this planned session called Open Door time. I had my door open and was actually in the process of hanging clothes into my closet. I took the longest time deciding how to arrange my clothes. The closet is lovely, but it doesn't have enough shelfs for the regular old tops and bottoms. It makes no sense to hang everything, nor would there be enough space. So the idea of open door is so other floor mates can visit you. A couple of guys just walked in, flopped on my bed and started chatting as I continued to hang clothes. I think this was the first time I felt like comfortable (as in I didn't feel the uhh... I don't know anyone awkward feeling). I remember laughing, smiling and joking around like I would back at home. It was like the first time I was able to be the raw me. We got to know each other better too, despite just doing silly talk. It was interesting, at one point I asked one of them when his birthday was and it turned out that out of the four people in the room at the time 3 of us had our birthdays like 4 days apart next month! That means party on our floor!!

-Sept 5

Day 2: My favourite movie.

My favourite movie would have to be A Walk to Remember. I don't even remember how and why I first saw this movie. I think cc recommended it. I cried so much the first time I watched it. Actually, I cry basically every time I watch it. Every so often, when I feel like I need to cleanse my system of tears I would totally turn on this movie. I think it's so prefect! I loved the flow. I guess, upon deeper analysis, it's the plot that really sucked me in because it's kind of me? I've come to realized that I have a hidden sweet tooth for rebellious boys. To have me change a boy? To have them fall in love with me? To not tell the world about you having cancer because you don't want people to act weird? To be a big, proud, intelligent nerd? To be bullied and have the boy stand up for you? To have the boy go up to your minister father to ask permission to take you out for dinner. To simply be with the person you love? To cuddle in the arms of the love of your life on the front porch with not a care in the world because you have already found the one.

It was so new

but it felt so average.

At the end of the summer I planned to start a 30 day blog challenge and realized that if I started the day I move into residence (Sept 4) then the last blog entry would be on my birthday!! Unfortunately, upon arriving in Watts' Hall I found that I could not connect to the internet, although everyone else on my floor could. I really wanted my internet because I wanted to skype with wl, friends and report to mom you know? I remember spending so much time on the first two days in residence locked up in my room trying to make the internet work instead of interacting with my new floor mates. They all knew I was experiencing such a problem. I asked many for assistance but they couldn't figure it out. Eventually I called ITServices the next morning.

Friday night was kind of hectic. I went out to the bank to exchange all the loose change dad came me from his car. When he counted it at home he claimed there was about $70 but when I exchanged it at the bank the teller counted $50 something. She only counted it once... I didn't think she was too accurate, but I didn't want to insist on counting everything again...especially since I spent like 1/2 hour at a closed counter trying to roll the coins into rolls. You would not believe how hard it was! Or how embarrassing it was, especially when the coins would explode over the counter and onto the floor . In my defence, the paper rolls they came me were very thin pieces of paper that didn't even have something at the end to prevent coins from falling out when you pop them in. Nor, can you tell exactly how many coins are inside.

Once I left the bank I ran into al. I had to think awhile to remember how I met this guy that was in a year older than me. It was grade nine art class. For some reason I run into him so much on the street randomly. He asked me where I was going for school. He was telling me how Rotman accounting was so hard. Apparently a lot of people fail a lot of courses...and they don't even find out they fail until they're already in second semester. (If you fail first semester course, even if you pass second semester you don't get the second semester credit). As we were conversing a person walking their bike on the sidewalk ram they bike's front wheel right into my legs! As I ,was turning around to look at the person I remember being so pissed and thinking, "How in the world do you have to ram into me when there's so much space on the sidewalk?! Just say excuse me.." But when I looked at the bike owners face there was a big grin. It was ds. He just came back from Portugal. I started teasing him about not inviting me to his little party on Sunday. (I was actually babysitting). He ended up walking me to the post office and then we went to his house so I had somewhere to write my last farewell cards.

By the way, earlier that day we went to Pho Ling and I ate an extra large bowl of pho because I thought I was so hungry! After 1/3 in I was already full...but I finished everything in the end! I feel accomplished? Haha, it's something to brag about right?

Mom eventually calls me home for dinner. Guess she wanted the whole family to sit down for a meal before I left despite the series of chaos in the house from the sleepover night and the cellphone issues.

Once they finished eatting they started loading the car for me. I wasn't even all done packing. I wanted to shower first so I was kind of upset that boxes were being lugged into the car without my consent so I won't even know what is where. Cl was supposed to help me call Rogers and get a good retention plan but he was so busy. So minutes before 9pm (when their office closed) I decided to call and try again myself. I was on the phone for over an hour but I worked out two real sweet deals. js came to pick up his card and ph came to exchange cards. That night I stayed up till almost 2am skyping. When I eventually rolled into bed I had difficulties falling asleep. I remember questioning whether it's because I'm nervous or whether I'm just not tired.

The next morning jk and at came over and bid me farewell like best friends would. Mom and I went to the mall to pick out new phones for our new phone plans. Long story short, they wanted us to pay $35 each on the phone for upgrading and the phone price itself! The guy there, Fransisco, advised us to call into customer service and negotiate what we can. In the end I walked away with a decent new phone, buy also a super frustrated dad.

We didn't even starting driving up until 11ish. I remember texting in the car. A big suitcase and the fridge was in the back seat so I sat in between my dad and mom in the front. My dad's car actually has a seatbelt and seat for the front middle (6 person car). I remember thinking, "Oh my god, I'm so close to dad who's driving. If I even lean the wrong way or nudge him he can drive us off the road! So dangerous!" I started getting a headache, probably from half lack of sleep, half uncomfortable car ride. After maybe half an hour I eventually fell asleep on my mom's shoulder and didn't really wake up until we were like 35km from Kingston. There were random spots of traffic congestion and storm clouds. With the map we had it was pretty easy to find my residence. Once we drove off the highway I knew we were at the right spot because I saw the similar boring suburbs with it's plazas and bingo houses from the other two times I've visited Kingston.

Once we got onto campus there was a lot of cars! But I guess we were lucky to find a parking spot not too far. I was in a tank and shorts. When I got out of the car it was freezing! I picked up my keys and started lugging things up. My room looked exactly like the room in the virtual tour online. I am very satisfied, especially after seeing some of the other rez these past few days.

I think we had a floor meeting and then went out for dinner the first night. There was also the rez rally. There were so many people packed in our new school gym. People were cheering so loudly. As most things in Queens I find... it was epic! Our Watts cheer was:

We like big beds and we can not lie,

The other rezes can't deny

When I'm asleep

and your alarm goes arm

I'm still in bed GOODBYE!

watts, watts, watts, watts, ... watts, watts, everybody! x2 (say watts repeatedly to the rhythm of the song shots).

Before I slept that night I read my farewell letters from tt, al/cc, ph, jk and at. When I read jk's letter I started tearing up a couple of lines in. I can totally hear her voice saying the card out loud through her writing. She was being her funny witty self. I loved all the cards so much.

Now for my blog challenge...

Day 1: Your favourite song.

To be honest I don't think I have a single favourite song. Like I was explaining to a friend yesterday, I listen to basically mainstream music. It`s not so much because I`m narrow-minded... I just didn`t put the effort or was exposed to other types of music. The one thing about songs is that I connect a lot of songs to specific people and events. I`m sure this happens to a lot of people but as the song starts I will experience once again those feelings I felt while listening to those songs or see the faces of people I associate certain songs with. For example:

True- Brandy

Stand up for love - Destiny child

If I ever see your face again - maroon 5 ft. rhianna

Unfaithful - Rhianna

World - Five for fighting.

Short entry, but I don`t have a favourite song... and I wrote so much other stuff so it`s okay.

- Sept 4

Grandma

makes the best instant noodle.

There's a brand of oriental instant noodles called MaMa Mien. For as long as I can remember that was the brand of noodles that my family purchased. The pork favoured one to be exact. Just thinking about it can make my mouth water. I think it's from this noodle that I have created my MSG addiction. I guess I'm not proud of this addiction health-wise, but every so often I love indulging in MSG filled chinese fast food. My grandma babysat me as a child. When she makes MaMa Mien it is the best thing ever!! Maybe it's the way she cooks it, the amount of water she uses, the amount of favouring she pours in, or the timing she leaves it for but for years long after nobody including the hundreds of times I have this noodle again does it taste the same.

Earlier this summer I said to my beloved grandmother, "Before I leave for school I am going to come over and you should make me a bowl of instant noodle one last time." Minutes ago I was just at my grandma's house. I`ve been such a bad granddaughter. She lives in Little Italy and Ionly visit a couple of times a year. She lives with my uncle and his family. I went to pick up the mini fridge that my uncle is lending me for school. I stood in her bedroom as she was taking out a fan out from a pile of stuff in a corner of her room and tears just started pouring out. I didn`t know what to do. I just stood there and cried. I love my grandma. She raised me. She has always been good to me. Soon she saw me crying and started tearing up herself. She told me to stop crying. To do well in school (and to not get involved with boys yet). I told her to take care of herself. Be safe. Ask for help. Don`t save up all her money and spend it on herself. She insists that she`ll be fine. But inside that is what scares me the most. I am so afraid that while I`m gone, or just one day...she will eventually leave. knock on wood And I don`t want her to leave us, ever.

One very loyal blogger

has been awaiting this post.

Last night I had my farewell gig with two of my favourite people in the world. They sleptover for the first time in the hmm... 6ish years that I have known them. Since then, we have been a part of one and another's lives more than I could and should explain on this blog. There were times where we would report every tiny details that happened that day in the evening. It's so interesting how despite all going to different high schools, through each other we knew so much about the other two schools, the teachers and the students. In short, I LOVE THESE TWO AMAZING LADIES!

So my mom made a lot of food for us. We stuffed ourselves. js and al left early after a few rounds of mah jong, being spoil sports and deciding not to spend the night. We did girly things like masks, nails and the of course late night girl talks. Around three in the morning we were laying around in my basement living room when ideas, courage and excitement began to fill our minds. I don't think I'm going to reveal the specific details on this blog. Let's just say, between 3am-4am I went behind my parents back and did something I have never done before. We were so scared and nervous. I couldn't believe they were convincing me to go ahead with it. We were running and laughing and holding each other's hands. One of my friend said, "Isn't this rush and adrenaline amazing?" Hmmmhm. Once we were lying on my couch again, safe and sound and undetected I was able to say in relief... "Wow, I can't believe we just did that..and yes it was fun." If I was by myself though I would never have done something like that though. In the following hours the party just started. We were laughing so hard! We were losing it! I remember my head swaying and getting up to go to the washroom. We didn't want to let each other fall asleep even though one of them had work at 10am and the other at 4pm. By dawn, my brother and mom got up for work and I pray they didn't notice anything. Well if they did, they didn't say anything yet.

After last night I feel more ready for next week. It was a real way to end the summer. I can say in another way now that I`ve lived the teenage life.

Maybe tonight will also be a night to remember. ;)