Kids

just make you happy.

So I'm currently babysiting for that exclusive family I babysit for. They are really adorable, their parents are nice and I love their house! It's not like a mansion or anything, but I love how they fit everything together and it's very homey, and very theirs you know what I mean. I'm on the mother's Macbook. Damn, the keys feel so nice to type now... maybe I should have just gotten a MacBook... since everybody is telling me I overpaid for my laptop now.. including my brother who was the one who chose it out! Gr..! Well hopefully, my laptop at home will lap me ATLEAST 4 years without any/many road bumps. I should name my laptop, just like jk. Mr. Laptop, don't worry I still love you. Eventually I'll come home to you.

Earlier this evening I had the most difficulty recalling what I did for the last week since I've come back from camping and offically became unemployed. Wow. When you don't have a committed regular job your time just kind of flies away from doing what seems like nothing. tt, I think I might understand how you can possible blog so much now.. I think it has to do with your Mac Book. I actually feel like I'm typing so much faster.. Weird..

So since I took a nap earlier this afternoon and because I'm getting paid for these hours, after I read to the kids and tucked them in I decided to start writing my farewell cards, since it's kind of like doing "work." I know my goal was to finish all my packing tonight.. but today was just so hot I couldn't really bare being anywhere but my basement while the sun was blazing.. I did manage to fit in about an hour of solid packing/cleaning before I came here though! Maybe I won't sleep tonight... I thought about getting my sleep schedule regular again.. but then I realized that during our sleepover later this week we probably won't sleep at all.. so what's the point? Actually, for frosh next week I probably won't be hitting the stacks at 10 PM either.. sooo I should finish packing tonight. *nods.

So before I left the kids' room I told them I'm leaving for school and I won't be able to see/ babysit them until probably Christmas. They came me hugs. Yes, sometimes I have to call after them more than once to get them into bed, but for priceless moments like this they melt you! Then as I was writing my farewell cards the instrumental for You Belong With Me by Taylor Swift came on from my ipod. I had to download it earlier this month, because my group of girls were singing and dancing to it for their end of summer talent show. The song brought back so many memories. They worked so hard on that dance and by the end they were flawless! I am so proud of them. I miss them, I can see all their smiling happy faces in my head. It kind of makes me think: hmm, maybe I would/should go back...but no. I can always and will visit.

An important thing in life is to know how and when to let go and move on. I need to move on from camp. Yes, it's a secure job and I love the kids but until we walk forward we will never find out what can be waiting for us next.

I'm about to leave in 6 days. There are basically two knots that I feel I need to tie. Before I had so much anger, I just wanted to yell in their face and tell them how much I hate them and why...to make things even? Get it off my chest. Then I think, what's the point? Maybe I should just leave it, leave it the way it is now.. lives seperate and apart, but it's frustrating. It needs a proper ending. It needs to come out. I need closure. So maybe instead of screaming (where would that get me) them I thought of writing them a card (more mature). To state my farewell...to say last words...to suggest we all move on from whatever it was. I don't really think I want to restart any friendships, but it'll be like cleaning the plate so that if our lives criss cross again we could possible. It's inevitable that we'll run across each other on the street someday. Maybe we can do something more than pretend we see right through them or need to look the other way. Maybe I'll write the cards and give it to you one day. I don't know. I just want to leave this behind me. I'm so over it.

On a happier note, I'm going to start a new stage in my life. I can't dare hope for anything too amazing but I do hope I'll enjoy myself. Was that weird? I just said I don't dare hope.. but I guess I am hoping. I've learned new things. Queens will be different too. From reading tt's blog frosh sounds like some wild animal party! Queen's a party school... I don't know how to party... I think. Hehe! I can't wait to have some fun.

Today, as I was reading to the kids I was so choppy! The farewell cards were also the most writing I've probably done all summer. My brain muscle rotted! I had to run for the streetcar too on the way here and I was not happy with the huffing and puffing! Why can't I ever develop muscles (be it body or brain) and keep them!

I feel like jello! (Body physically... and maybe a late night crave.. since I've been eatting so much junk anyways)!

Yeah... long blogs (like tt's) definately has to do with the Mac Book influence. This is such a long post and it took no time to type.

Packing my life

into cardboard boxes.

At first I really wanted to just talk about things that have happened these last two days... but once again rs's words resonated in my head and so I'm going to try to blog about something more substantial.. right after I talk about my last two days.

Yesterday I went up to cc's house with al. On the subway ride there we were talking about my world religion elective and this guy that was sitting kind of close to us butted into our conversation and said something like, "Religion is a bunch of philosophies..." or something alone those lines." When we got to cc's big house in the middle of nowhere we started bbqing. mx and her sister dx joined us. After an afternoon of eatting we went into to rot on her couches. I brought Lindor Lindtt white chocolate balls as like a host's gift for cc. I was about to eat one cause everybody else was.. but then they were like it's 25% of your daily fat intake and I already ate so much food so I decided to save it for later. A while later I realized that I was lying on it. You know how Lindor Lindtt just melts heavenly in your mouth.. well it melts when you lie on it too! It got on my new favourite blue cropped shirt!! I was so devastated! and knowing it's 25% of my fat intake I was like, " Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo! grease stains don't come out!!

This morning I went with js to Chinatown. We ate at the House of Gourmet. I swear I've eatten there more these last two months than I have in the last 4-6 years. I think I have a new favourite chinese restaurant dist: wonton and beef noodle in soup. Love that MSG soup! Afterwards I went to ct's house to pick up the sccc money while js went to get a haircut. I had a nice little chat with her. I had a lot of fun with her this summer actually. Can't wait to talk to her again about stuff! We shopped around with js and eventually came home. We were supposed to go to the mall but js decided not to.. so I took a nap. It was such a nice nap. My blankey is SOOOOOOOOO GOD DAMN HEAVENLY!

So today I was going to blog about..oh dear, I totally forgot.. well I remembered just as I'm typing I forgot. My room! My room has been super messy all summer long even though I've tried to clean it now and again. Right now you can barely walk in it. I'm aiming to clean it all up and pack everything by the end of this weekend. I was supposed to work on it this afternoon but then I took a nap, and then I started talking to wl on skype. I WILL work on it though tomorrow. PROMISE. Who knew packing up your room would be so hard, and that there would be so much stuff to buy. I swear on my own personal money (buying bits and pieces of small things) I`ve spent like almost $200. That`s obviously excluding the stuff my mom`s been buying me all summer long. I can`t wait to finish packing. I`ve been reading tt`s blog. Let`s just say life in Montreal is CRAZYYYYY! I can`t even explain it. I wonder if my frosh will be like that. I wonder if I will go wild with this new freedom like she is doing. So eyy, I`m leaving in 8 days...

The wheels on the bus

go wee, wee, wee.

Well actually, the wheels on the bus don't go wee, wee, wee but that's the animated sound effect of how I sounded when wl left today. After lunch it was kind of like a rush, we almost didn't make the bus. Due to the rush bidding farewell wasn't that bad...well as bad as I feared. No tears at the bus station. It's okay, we'll see each other soon right? Right.

I was talking to rs earlier this evening briefly. I haven't spoke to him for a long time actually and he said... " that is why I try not to make my blog my online diary." It's not really a diary for me..I write about whatever, but it's usually inspired by daily events. So for this post I am going to talk about the different ways people cope with saying goodbye. (more specifically, how parents cope with bidding farewell to their children as they go off to university.)

So the first way is as mentioned before...trying to avoid it-ish. They try to kind of pretend it's not happening...delay things like packing or discussing the departure. The next way is stressing out about it (aka my mom's approach). She's been frantically nagging me about packing and not procrastinating and etc... and at first I thought it was kind of annoying that she was more stressed and concerned than myself.. I knew I had everything under control.. but then I realized that since my family isn't really the love expressing type this is just her way of showing she cares and loves me. She probably would never go out and plainly say I'll miss you. On the other hand, there are the parents that will keep reminding you that they will miss you and don't want you to go. That's the worst guilt trip, to know you're making other people (especially your parents) worry. In earlier stages of this third type of parents they would have likely tried to bribe you to stay close to home. The fourth way is to have the parent do everything for you, attend to all the travel details and pack everything down to your own underwear. The fifth type that I'm going to touch upon is the tough lovers. These parents might even say straight out that they want you to leave. There might have been tension and you feel like you can't get out of their house faster, but when the morning comes that you have to leave it'll still jab a little to part with your moms and dads. And no matter what type of parents you have, and whichever approach they seem to be taking towards your departure if you are a student going away for school, just remember that they love you.. and that they'll miss you whether they know how to express it properly or not. It's a tender time for both sides. Trust, I bet we'll all be homesick at one point or another.

If there's excitement

it's a good beginning.

Yay, I get to blog again! As the title might hint, I am very excited at the moment, five in the morning to be precise, to commence blogging again. The duration while I took a break from pretty much the internet world I didn't miss it too much. I was more or less occupied the whole time. It was nice to take a break from blogging anyways, although it would have been nice to have had my summer adventures documented somewhere.

As you may also see evidently, I have decided to change my blog title and blackground. It was a tough decision, and somewhat heart breaking to part with my old url- everythingaz. I remember that exact moment where I decided to jump on the bandwagon to start blogging with some high school friends and thought that the title would be perfect! (and I still enjoy the pun very much). As for the background... at first I thought the grass was okay... since it was kind of blurry...but then I like the sophisticated-ish combination of colours and text that came with this background image. I also thought it might be appropriate because Kingston probably looks something like this (little exaggerated..but I'm sure there's some truth).

So why did I start blogging again. Well first I am typing on my new laptop that I brought just hours ago! I wasn't really picky at the store other than the fact that it looked decent and that the screen wasn't too big..but now that I'm using it I'm starting to love it more and more. I love the keyboard! (shoutouts to my honey). Second reason is because I just read one of tt's latest blog posts from Montreal and honestly, it's like reading a teen fic. It made me want to start blogging again to document and share hopefully my own exciting adventures that will hopefully come? Another reason is because, the rare occasions that I've logged onto blogger, my friends who've haven't frequently blogged when I left picked up the pace again. The final reason is because of one special individual. He's leaving tomorrow. Earlier tonight, as I was attempting to fall asleep (and failed, therefore I'm here) I thought of all the sweet memories we've created. I thought of how he'd read all of my blogs and check multiple times a day to see if I've posted a new post- and I think that's cute. I think he enjoyed it and I guess it's kind of selfish, but I started smiling imagining him read my blog posts miles away. So I'm going to start blogging again, so you can start following again. I thought of dedicating a new blog to you entirely... but I think one blog is enough distraction. I have to see you to the bus station in a couple of hours I think so I'm going to try sleeping again...boy, I haven't been up at 530AM for awhile... Boy...I haven't exercised my brain muscles for awhile... BOY, I haven't exercised in awhile, period. hehehe.