I know you'll read this

that is why I write what I write...

The title is totally ambiguous. Trust me, you'll probably all read this and think...hmm..is she referring to me? I guess in a sense I do have you guys in mind as a write- so at one point or another my title is true and JUST pertaining to you. At the same time, there might be people like you, who follows my blog and I don't even know it... This is the exact mentality that horoscopes have.

Anyways, I have not blogged for awhile. Saturday's trip to Kingston's was absolutely amazing. Not so much because of the campus or the buffet lunch, but it was the bus ride home with friends (that I do not normally get to spend time with outside of school) that made it the best Saturday in (I'm pretty sure I won't be exaggerating when I say) a year or two. Yesterday, I have reaffirmed my love for taking naps in my room during bright weekend afternoons. And this morning, life just plummeted. Dramatic I agree, but as the day progressed I just became more and more frustrated... well let's be frank here, I was just pissed off.

Really, I'm more pissed off at myself than anything. I was so bitter on the way to work. I had a chance to see wq and just that helped sparkle some droplets on my flames. I decided to "use" the kids to turn my day around. Work's funny in this way. I either have a really good day then go to work and leave the shift angry and with a sore throat from telling the kids' to quiet down and work OR I would go to work upset and have the kids' smiles turn my day around. When you work with kids you feel obligated to be happy, well it's easier and tends to naturally to work out that way. It's days like today that tells me: this is why you work with kids. To be fair the good days with my class and the bad days with my class- it really depends how I decide to make that class. Do I give them a pencil and paper and just tell them to write? Or, do I read to them and facilitate an engaging and informative discussion? The latter is what I did today. I asked them what THEY want to do for the remaining 5 classes. I suggested that I take them out to the playground if they behaved well all class. I chatted with them casually like they were my friends and not 7 year olds. I got everyone involved and speaking, they learned new things (about reading and writing not my life), and it was fun- for all of us. That's what I realized is most important. To read to them more (because their families don't really do so at home) and have reading naturally appeal to them. If it's one simple advice I can give to kids' academics: it would be...READ READ READ, FALL IN LOVE WITH READING.

Life, and the source to my frustration is no different from a day at work. It's how I make it. I more or less what's bugging me (at least I think I do) and I am going to try to change it so that I am content with what I do and proud of the decisions I make regarding the use of my time. Yep, that's exactly it. Lately, I've been more disappointed than proud of myself. Yes, I know life has those ups and downs. Yes, I know I've had very happy moments despite my current dissatisfied opinion of the last couple of weeks..or months? Yes, I know I tend to exaggerate my daily ups and downs... but hey I'm just saying- this is sincerely how I feel at the moment.

And to bring myself back on track I would need to spend less time blogging and on the computer doing all this... crap. Maybe this will be a brief farewell. Let's call it a 'break' shall we? On the bright side, if you know I'm not blogging hopefully I'm spending the time on more productive endeavorers that's making me happy. I still love reading all of your blogs though! So please don't stop! Like tt said, "It's depressing when you check your dashboard and nobody had wrote a new blog."

p.s. Yesterday I made the following analogy to jk: There will always be ups and downs, but we can't get overly absorbed with the fluctuation. Like the stock market there are ups and downs everyday, but the long-term investors are the ones that profit. I think I was referring to relationships? As long as amid all the mild road bumps you're happy and satisfied in the long run.

This also applies to the theme of my blog today. I always have these days, but in the long run I think I'm getting happier with time. I have definitely have things to be grateful for, and when I find the time to not be so busy maybe I'll sit down, reflect and be proud of some of the things I'm doing. I'll like to THINK I'm "humble" but how humble am I really when I'm "bragging" about being humble? bg says I'm not humble... I was going to ask you your opinion but...I don't know if I'm dying to know... I mean, what difference would it make? I've learned people's (firm) perceptions of me were established looooong time ago.

Well, ciao amigo.