Until the last 2 years or so I can honestly say I don't know what it feels like to blush. I won't bother trying to deny that I've never blushed as a growing child, but I guess when I did I can never tell myself. In recent years I experienced my first feeling of having a wave of heat flush onto my cheeks with great velocity. Without exaggeration I swear the actual temperature of my cheeks pumped up severe degrees in a matter of seconds. Without looking I can just SEE how my cheeks are rogue. It doesn't come often. Sometimes it won't even be a situation that is embarrassing, that makes me nervous or where I am shy. I think it happens more when you catch me off guard. If you're intentionally trying to make me nervous or blush... for those that have been around I think you would agree that I am not easily intimidated or embarrassed.
Today I was sitting at my desk, thinking, "What have I learned so far in my respective courses?" Economics, definitely learned a lot. Law, can't deny I've learned the basic fundamentals of international law. English... Hm.... What kind of assignments have I completed so far...writing..I've learn to write? But I already "knew" how to write. I learned how to write a better essay?... maybe I got more practise with my writing but the pointers I've more or less heard of all before. Ah ha! I learned how to write a comparative essay cause that's by summative project... oh my god. I don't know how to write a good comparative essay. Not yet at least. Well if I haven't written it yet I don't know if I can do a good job with it or not. And at the exact moment it clicked. I was alone in my room, at my desk, thinking to myself, starring out of the window in front of my desk and my face started to burn. I felt the colour rush to my cheeks. I made myself blush (like blush, blush. I couldn't believe it. I actually went to go look in my mirror to see those pink cheeks and my hands flew up to my face to assure the raising face temperature) realizing how much work I must complete in a little more than a week. I must do a good job (its wrapping up to the end..and I'm afraid I'm going to fall below the program and scholarship cutoff with good reason) and without going into whether or not I have the abilities to submit a good piece of writing I KNOW there needs to be HUGE CHUCKS of time set aside to just complete the bare minimum for the projects. And lately, I've been extremely ill-productive, if that's a word. Time is not in my favour. Actually, in the end, don't you think time is never in our favour?
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