So I'm currently babysiting for that exclusive family I babysit for. They are really adorable, their parents are nice and I love their house! It's not like a mansion or anything, but I love how they fit everything together and it's very homey, and very theirs you know what I mean. I'm on the mother's Macbook. Damn, the keys feel so nice to type now... maybe I should have just gotten a MacBook... since everybody is telling me I overpaid for my laptop now.. including my brother who was the one who chose it out! Gr..! Well hopefully, my laptop at home will lap me ATLEAST 4 years without any/many road bumps. I should name my laptop, just like jk. Mr. Laptop, don't worry I still love you. Eventually I'll come home to you.
Earlier this evening I had the most difficulty recalling what I did for the last week since I've come back from camping and offically became unemployed. Wow. When you don't have a committed regular job your time just kind of flies away from doing what seems like nothing. tt, I think I might understand how you can possible blog so much now.. I think it has to do with your Mac Book. I actually feel like I'm typing so much faster.. Weird..
So since I took a nap earlier this afternoon and because I'm getting paid for these hours, after I read to the kids and tucked them in I decided to start writing my farewell cards, since it's kind of like doing "work." I know my goal was to finish all my packing tonight.. but today was just so hot I couldn't really bare being anywhere but my basement while the sun was blazing.. I did manage to fit in about an hour of solid packing/cleaning before I came here though! Maybe I won't sleep tonight... I thought about getting my sleep schedule regular again.. but then I realized that during our sleepover later this week we probably won't sleep at all.. so what's the point? Actually, for frosh next week I probably won't be hitting the stacks at 10 PM either.. sooo I should finish packing tonight. *nods.
So before I left the kids' room I told them I'm leaving for school and I won't be able to see/ babysit them until probably Christmas. They came me hugs. Yes, sometimes I have to call after them more than once to get them into bed, but for priceless moments like this they melt you! Then as I was writing my farewell cards the instrumental for You Belong With Me by Taylor Swift came on from my ipod. I had to download it earlier this month, because my group of girls were singing and dancing to it for their end of summer talent show. The song brought back so many memories. They worked so hard on that dance and by the end they were flawless! I am so proud of them. I miss them, I can see all their smiling happy faces in my head. It kind of makes me think: hmm, maybe I would/should go back...but no. I can always and will visit.
An important thing in life is to know how and when to let go and move on. I need to move on from camp. Yes, it's a secure job and I love the kids but until we walk forward we will never find out what can be waiting for us next.
I'm about to leave in 6 days. There are basically two knots that I feel I need to tie. Before I had so much anger, I just wanted to yell in their face and tell them how much I hate them and why...to make things even? Get it off my chest. Then I think, what's the point? Maybe I should just leave it, leave it the way it is now.. lives seperate and apart, but it's frustrating. It needs a proper ending. It needs to come out. I need closure. So maybe instead of screaming (where would that get me) them I thought of writing them a card (more mature). To state my farewell...to say last words...to suggest we all move on from whatever it was. I don't really think I want to restart any friendships, but it'll be like cleaning the plate so that if our lives criss cross again we could possible. It's inevitable that we'll run across each other on the street someday. Maybe we can do something more than pretend we see right through them or need to look the other way. Maybe I'll write the cards and give it to you one day. I don't know. I just want to leave this behind me. I'm so over it.
On a happier note, I'm going to start a new stage in my life. I can't dare hope for anything too amazing but I do hope I'll enjoy myself. Was that weird? I just said I don't dare hope.. but I guess I am hoping. I've learned new things. Queens will be different too. From reading tt's blog frosh sounds like some wild animal party! Queen's a party school... I don't know how to party... I think. Hehe! I can't wait to have some fun.
Today, as I was reading to the kids I was so choppy! The farewell cards were also the most writing I've probably done all summer. My brain muscle rotted! I had to run for the streetcar too on the way here and I was not happy with the huffing and puffing! Why can't I ever develop muscles (be it body or brain) and keep them!
I feel like jello! (Body physically... and maybe a late night crave.. since I've been eatting so much junk anyways)!
Yeah... long blogs (like tt's) definately has to do with the Mac Book influence. This is such a long post and it took no time to type.
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